Community Isn’t Cute…It’s Survival
Community is invaluable.
As I reflect over this past year, I’m being reminded why I’ve poured so much of myself into other people.
I’ve been known as the “round-up queen.”
The one who brings people together.
The one who makes the plans.
The one who gives—time, energy, love… all of it. Unconditionally.
And if I’m honest?
I’ve also been in awe of how little that’s been reciprocated at times.
For years, I gave and gave until I depleted myself.
But something shifts as you get older.
Your energy becomes more sacred. More finite. More intentional.
And what I’ve realized is this:
Community cannot be sustained by one person.
It just can’t.
It requires all of us—
Showing up.
Taking responsibility.
Carrying the weight together.
Because community moves in seasons.
Sometimes you’ll have more to give.
Sometimes you’ll need to be held.
But if no one else is stepping in when it’s your turn to receive… that’s not community. That’s burnout in disguise.
Community Is Not Just Social—It’s Strategic
We need to expand how we think about community.
It’s not just friends and family.
It’s your professional network.
Your support systems.
Your medical team.
The people you can call when life hits.
Because it will hit.
And when it does, knowing who to call and when to call them?
That’s not luck. That’s something you build.
Community isn’t just for fun.
It’s for function.
It’s for fulfillment.
It’s for survival.
Here’s the Truth Most People Won’t Say
Your community doesn't need you to be perfect.
But they do need you to show up.
Not just a text.
Not just a like.
Pick up the phone.
Drop by.
Make the plan.
And if you’re always the one making the plans—pause.
Let someone else step in.
And if you’re the one who never does?
This is your moment.
Step up.
Don’t sit there wondering where your community is.
Start building it. One call at a time.
I’ve shifted how I do this as time progresses, life changes, as age and wisdom enter the scene.
Because you won't always be able to be the roundup queen.
Here is what I noticed as I pulled back.
That same energy I used to pour out…
It’s coming back to me tenfold.
Why?
Because I started choosing differently.
I started noticing who stayed.
Who checked in.
Who made space for me.
And I also started practicing something that changed everything:
Discernment.
Not everyone deserves access to your energy.
And that’s okay.
That doesn’t mean you stop showing up.
It just means you stop overextending where it’s not matched.
Let Me Be Clear: Don’t quit on people just because a few didn’t show up for you.
Don’t harden.
Don’t disappear.
Don’t become a hermit because it’s easier.
Choose the hard thing.
Because life is already hard enough on your own.
Community can save you.
And I don’t say that lightly.
Community has kept me sane.
Helped me evolve.
Held me when I didn’t know how I’d make it through.
There were moments where community helped keep food on my table
and warmth in my home.
So no—we’re not overcomplicating this.
We’re going back to basics.
Be in community.
Out loud.
In real life.
Yes, online connection matters.
But human, in-person, real-life connection?
That’s the kind I’m talking about.
3 Ways to Start Building Real Community
1. Get uncomfortable on purpose
Try something new. Go somewhere different. Break your patterns.
Community will not knock on your door—you have to go create it.
2. Take initiative (or share it)
If you always plan—invite others to lead.
If you never plan—it’s time to step up.
Community requires participation, not spectators.
3. Practice discernment, not withdrawal
Keep showing up. Keep loving.
But learn when to pull back when effort isn’t matched.
That’s not quitting—that’s self-respect.
Journal Prompt
Where in your life are you expecting community… without actively creating or participating in it?
And what is one bold action you can take this week to change that?
Final Truth Bomb:
It’s not about perfection.
It’s a decision.
And for me?
It’s always going to be a fuck yes to showing up, loving hard, and building something real.
